Just stop the presses. There is obviously no news out there that is fit to print. So, save the forests. Don't waste the ink. Send the Pressmen home. News is discontinued for the duration.
One might think that al Shabbab threatening to attack the Mall of America would be a huge story with reporters from all over the world heading into the American heartland. Small potatoes. Not worth the cost of putting a reporter up in a cheap motel.
Perhaps the story that ISIS is recruiting (taking) children as young as five and training them to kill in the most gory manner for the glory of Allah? Too judgmental. Nothing that we would do, but other folks see things differently. No story there.
Well, how about the ongoing scandals at the IRS and the VA? Those are unresolved and deserve serious attention. No. Just made up news. Some would say Faux News. Conservative gotcha journalism. Forget about it.
There is the fact that the administration cannot call ISIS Islamic even though they call themselves Islamic. And the DHS even says that Christian conservatives are the biggest threat. Opinions. Opinions. Opinions. Who knows? They may be right. Time will tell.
Could we look at all the scandals in Hillary's life? Suspicious financial activity. Dicey fund raising. The ongoing saga of a philandering husband. No. No. Hillary is a fairy god-mother. Every morning she rises pure as the driven snow. How could anyone suggest that there might be news there?
There is a couple of things that I thought might be worth a little squib. You know. One paragraph on page six. Rudy Giuliani said some uncomplimentary things about Barack Obama at a private dinner. Wow, there is news. Get everybody on this right away. Track down everyone that was there. Run with this. Page one, above the fold. Banner headline. I can see a Pulitzer in this.
And Scott Walker didn't complete his senior year at college. In spite of that crippling handicap he feels qualified to be President? Just because he has done well and good in the world and been an awesomely successful governor? Now we have two stories worth going to press with.
Get those presses running. We have liberals to protect and conservatives to gut.