Monday, October 15, 2012

Liar Liar Pants on Fire (A Fantasy)

I woke up this morning and I remembered hearing this interview, but I don't remember where I heard it. It went like this:

Reporter; Mr. President, Benghazi has been an important topic for the past month and we have heard conflicting stories. Can you explain what happened?

POTUS; Well Chris, this is a very complicated situation involving the State Department and the intelligence community. The White House, of course, was never involved. We are doing an in depth investigation right now as we speak. I can tell you this. Our preliminary findings are that Romney lied. And I think I can say with some surety that will also be the final conclusion. But I must remind you once again Romney lied.

Reporter; Thank you Mr. President for that profound analysis. Thank God we have you in the White House. A lesser intellect may not have been able to unravel this complicated problem. Now Sir, this thing called "Fast and Furious" keeps coming up in the lying conservative media. Can you tell us anything about that?

POTUS; Of course I can Chris. As you know, I am more expert on any subject than all of the experts working for me. So I am able to lecture at length about anything you might bring up. "Fast and Furious" was invented by the Bush administration and left in place to embarrass me. But we were able to keep it isolated to the lowest levels of ATF. Of course the White House never knew about this. So this whole thing was created by the misdeeds of a couple of the cleaning personnel at the Phoenix office. The only reason it is still news is because Romney lied.

Reporter; That is truly amazing sir. The lengths that those evil conservatives will go to embarrass your own sacred self is disgusting. There are some misguided individuals out there that claim that you didn't do well in the first debate. Have you any comment?

POTUS; Of course I do Chris. As you know, I am a brilliant and thoughtful person and also extremely polite. I prefer to ponder my answers for a few moments and think about the nuances of the words that I use to frame my profound answers. So it is obvious to me that I won the debate. Especially when you consider that through the whole debate Romney lied.

Reporter; I understand sir. Basking in the light of your brilliance has me practically vibrating with excitement. Sir, have you any comments about theVice President's debate?

POTUS; First, let me say he is a great Vice President. But he gets excited when he is on stage. When ever he goes out in public, we make him wear a dark suit. You know, just in case. Thank God he had one on at the debate. He really didn't want to interrupt so much but he got upset that other guy was getting a chance to talk. We felt that that was unfair as the VP was so much older. Also both Ryan and Romney lied.

Now you must remember that I woke with this interview firmly in my thoughts but I couldn't remember if I actually saw it or if I dreamed it. But it seemed real when compared with most of the reporting I have seen of late.

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